At a time of rising anti-Muslim rhetoric and discrimination, communities nationwide are coming together to push back. This is the sixth in a blog series titled "," which is meant to highlight this fight for equality and religious freedom.
In 2012, my family and I moved from a bigger city in the Midwest to a much smaller college town in the South — population 17,000. While the move was inconvenient to my social life (no more Fun Day-Mondays with the girls), I chalked it up as one more adventure in my life. With that, we packed up the minivan and made our trek down South.
The first year was hard. While my husband enjoyed his new position at the university, I was having a difficult time finding work in my field — civil rights. I took up cooking and working out, trying to keep up with these very elegant Southern moms who always looked well-manicured. I even joined the PTA. At my first meeting, I was approached by someone who appeared to be the head lady of the group.
“What church do you go to?” she asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“Church? Oh. Uh. I don’t. I’m Muslim.”
“I see. Well, you have a personal invitation by me to join us at our congregation.”
She smiled again. I smiled back.
“I’d love the opportunity for interfaith dialogue. Thank you.”
“Oh. No. I…I’m sorry. Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to the principal. I better catch him before he leaves.”
And then there was that other time…
A year later, after purchasing our new home, there was a knock at the door. It was an early Monday morning and I was still in my pajamas drinking my coffee. Two women stood there. One appeared to be in her mid-50s. The other, much older, stood behind her. I kept my eye on the older one. She looked like trouble.
“Hello. Welcome to our city. We see you just moved into town.”
Where was this lady getting her information? The Patriot Act?
“…I wanted to invite you to our church. Have you found Christ in your heart?”
The older woman behind her kept smiling. Every once in a while she’d sway back and forth, as if she was dancing to her own tune, while twiddling her fingers in what appeared to be a maniacal way. A bit too excited for my taste. And then, spirit fingers spoke up.
“You’d like our church. I sit in the back. We have a good ole time there. We could sit together and have our own little party.”
Her hair was colored a dark brown with the dye overlapping a bit on her forehead. She had bright red lipstick that was smeared over her lip-line.
“Thank you, ladies. I appreciate the invitation. I’m Muslim, though, so I’ll be searching for a mosque to attend with my children.”
Spirit fingers yelled out, “What she say? Muslin?”
“No. That’s a fabric. I said Muslim, the religion. I’m MUSLIM, with an M.”
My three young boys came to the door to see what was going on. The ladies smiled, and I introduced them.
“These are my boys, Ali, Omar, and Mohamed.”
“Wow. Those are different names.”
“Yes, we picked them out of the terrorist watch list. You know, to make it easier for everyone.” I laughed. They didn’t. “I’m joking, ladies. It’s a joke.”
Later that evening I told the story to my husband and daughter.
“That’s not funny. This is a small town. People here are nice. You don’t need to make things a joking matter. Just say ‘no thank you’ and let them be on their way.” My husband was concerned that I was antagonizing the natives.
A sign on a Tennessee roadway
I received a mailer recently. No knock on the door this time, but it was certainly another invitation. However, not one to save my soul. There was no party in the back row. It was a recruitment flyer for the KKK. The KKK! I mean, you hear about them in far-removed towns, but…Oh. Wait. I am living in a far-removed town now.
“I’m concerned,” I told my husband. “Maybe we should have thought about giving our kids more American sounding names. How do you hide a Mohamed from a group of hateful people?”
“You’re being irrational. No one is looking for you, unless you continue to make jokes about being on the terrorist watch list to everyone you see at Walmart.”
The truth is, I was almost relieved to know that the KKK in town was making its presence visible. I was getting way too comfortable with the polite “bless your heart” tolerance of it all. There was no way that everyone was always this friendly. It’s a lot easier to confirm your paranoia when you have hard evidence. Undercover xenophobia and anti-Muslim animosity is a lot more concerning when masked by smiling faces.
Little Maysoon
That people are fearful of the unknown is not new for Muslims in America. As a young child I remember exactly where I was and how I felt the first time I was exposed to ugly rhetoric, and how it scared me.
In 1980, I was in the third grade. There were 53 Americans being at the time. On a very warm day in California, our school decided to show support for the hostages by planting trees and tying yellow ribbons around them, to show that we hadn’t forgotten the hostages. During the assembly there were two teachers standing behind me. While the principal played the song "," the two teachers spoke.
“These Arabs in the Middle East are trying to destroy the world. They’re all evil.”
“I’d like to see one of them try to come to our soil and take one of us hostage. What kind of religion do these people have? Barbarians!”
My stomach sank. Did they know I was Arab? Did they know I was Muslim? My eyes began to water and my knees began to shake. I was scared. I went home that afternoon and told my mom what happened. She took me to a local fabric store and we bought yellow fabric. When we got home we cut strips, lots of them, and took them outside and began tying them around trees.
“If teachers ask what you are, tell them American. They don’t like us. We are American, understand?”
My mother was an immigrant from Brazil married to a Palestinian Muslim. We weren’t Iranian, but it didn’t matter. The teachers didn’t know the difference. My mom was afraid that I would be punished for not being like them, that they would fail me. They did fail me. Not academically, but morally and emotionally. Educators that were supposed to uplift me made me feel like an outsider instead.
We continued to tie ribbons around trees that evening without saying a word to each other. None were needed. I understood perfectly as an eight year old that it was better to be with them than for them to think we were against them.
Turning fear into empowerment
Maysoon's son Mohamed, aka Moody, takes a photo with her husban Ihsan, sons Omar and Ali, and their dog Scout in the background.
Eventually, I began to see and experience the world and its events differently. I found that diversity was something to be admired. What’s interesting is that I learned this not on my own, but through my children.
When my daughter was in the first grade, I received a phone call from the principal. She was in trouble for jumping over her desk in order to beat up a little boy who had just called her friend a “n.”
“Why is my daughter in trouble?”
“This is not the behavior we tolerate from our students, Mrs. Khatib. Violence is not the answer.”
“Is the little boy in trouble for using derogatory language?”
“We talked to him and he knows not to say that word anymore.”
I picked up my daughter and took her for ice cream. She needed to be rewarded.
My children also don’t hide their faith. When one of my twins was in the second grade, he attended speech therapy. I was able to watch through a two way mirror, listening in with headphones.
The therapist said, “Let’s use words that have the S sound in it.”
“Okay,” Omar said. “I’m a MuSSSSlim. Are you a Muslim? Muslims are good people. Muslims love to have fun and love people and love peace and love bikes and love toys and love Legos! If you love these things you are a MuSSSSlim, too!”
He smiled at her as her mouth hung open.
“I know,” she said. “Let’s use words that have the T-H sound in them.”
“Great! THe Muslims are coming to town. THey love THe people here.”
The therapist looked toward the two-way mirror, face flushed. She tried.
How could my boys, all of them under the age of 10 be so strong? When I was their age I was cutting up yellow ribbons trying to prove how American I was. Meanwhile, in 2016, when the fear odometer against Muslims is at its peak in the news, my kids are spreading the love of their faith to anyone who will stop and give them the time of day. They figured out something that took me over 30 years to learn: to use their platform wisely, to live by example, and to look at adversity in the eyes and kick some ass. (Figuratively, that is. Well, except for my daughter – she’s the Mike Tyson of the family.)
We always open our door – and every day is a learning experience
In the four years I’ve lived in my small town, we’ve always opened our doors to people. Every Sunday night we have a family dinner where we invite students (international and domestic), professors, neighbors, and friends to enjoy some Middle Eastern cooking. We talk about everything, laugh about nothing in particular, and make sure that everyone is happy before leaving to their own homes.
As Muslims, I feared change from big city to small town would be difficult for the kids. Turns out it’s grown on us. Our children appear to like the fact that their names are different. They love their small town where people wave at you as you drive by, and everyone knows each other.
We’ve used this chapter in our life to empower our children, to educate them on world affairs, and to explain to them that while life is not perfect, it is definitely an adventure.
At the same time, we tell our kids that they don’t necessarily have to be poster children and spokespeople of Muslims in America. They just need to be young, and they should leave the politics and dealing with fearmongers to the big kids. The goal is to make your child feel safe and secure. Sometimes, just telling them they’re okay is all they need.
Ultimately, I want to make sure that when my children look back on our small town, they remember us opening our doors to people of all faiths and beliefs. In fact, I’ll even open my doors to those recruiters of the KKK. Maybe I’ll feed them a little hummus and tabouli, and let them see that diversity is the spice of life – bless their hearts.
Maysoon Khatib is an adjunct professor teaching public speaking at Murray State University, and the managing editor of Muslimgirl.com. She spent 10 years working as a civil rights investigator for the State of Michigan Department of Civil Rights prior to moving to Western Kentucky with her husband and four children.
Read the previous posts in this series:
When a Headscarf Becomes a Target
FBI Borrows From Anti-Muslim Playbook in New Video Game
I Am a Muslim American Army Reservist Who Was Turned Away From a Gun Range Because of My Faith
Learn More About the Issues on This Page
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Press ReleaseDec 2024
National Security
Religious Liberty
ACLU Statement on New White House Strategy to Counter IslamophobiaACLU Statement on New White House Strategy to Counter Islamophobia
WASHINGTON – The Biden administration today released the first-ever national strategy to counter Islamophobia and related forms of bias and discrimination, including hate against Arab, Sikh, and South Asian Americans. In advance of the strategy, American Civil Liberties Union and its partners had urged the administration to overhaul government programs that reflect anti-Muslim discrimination. In particular, we have called for urgent action to constrain governmental agencies from continuing to exercise their authorities and technology to wrongly surveil and investigate, watchlist, and question and detain Muslims at the border, as well as deny immigration benefits to people from Muslim-majority countries. While the White House raised expectations that many of these issues would be addressed, the final strategy ended up falling far short. The following is a statement from Hina Shamsi, director of the ACLU’s National Security Project: “While this strategy acknowledges discrimination and its harms, it does little to end them and is a squandered opportunity. For decades, American officials have invoked national security to pass laws and implement programs that disproportionately harm Muslims and people perceived to be Muslim. A serious anti-discrimination strategy would concretely address multiple bias-infused government practices that deny our communities equal participation in civic life and our democracy, like federal watchlisting, surveillance, and investigation. We’re profoundly frustrated that the administration didn’t take even the basic, overdue step of recognizing that anti-Muslim discrimination is uniquely normalized and embedded in government policies.” -
Press ReleaseNov 2024
Religious Liberty
Civil Liberties Organizations Unite to Oppose Oklahoma Education Superintendent Ryan Walters’ Latest Push for Religion in Public SchoolsCivil Liberties Organizations Unite to Oppose Oklahoma Education Superintendent Ryan Walters’ Latest Push for Religion in Public Schools
The American Civil Liberties Union, ACLU of Oklahoma, Freedom From Religion Foundation, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, and Oklahoma Appleseed Center for Law & Justice are uniting to challenge Oklahoma State Superintendent of Public Instruction Ryan Walters’s latest attempt to impose religion on students in the state’s public school system. On Friday, the coalition sent a letter to every superintendent in Oklahoma urging them not to show or disseminate Walters’ prayer video. The letter emphasizes the constitutional requirement for public schools to remain secular and warns that promoting the video to students and parents would violate both the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution and Article I, Section 2 of the Oklahoma Constitution. The letter also points out that Superintendent Walters lacks the authority to require local school districts to play the video (or any other video) to their students. On Thursday, to promote his new “Office of Religious Liberty and Patriotism,” Superintendent Walters emailed all superintendents within the state a “Mandatory Announcement” that linked to a video entitled “Prayer for the Nation.” Additionally, the email asserted that all Oklahoma schools must play the video for all their students and send it to their parents. In the video, Walters blames the “radical left” and “woke teachers unions” for “attacking” religious liberty and then delivers a lengthy prayer supporting President-elect Donald Trump. Walters encourages students to join in his prayer. “Requiring students to watch a prayer video violates students’ religious freedom, including their Establishment Clause rights,” the coalition’s letter warns. “It is beyond dispute that, at a minimum, the Constitution guarantees that government may not coerce anyone to support or participate in religion or its exercise[.]” The coalition reminds superintendents of their responsibility to protect all students’ religious freedom, regardless of their personal beliefs. By promoting a specific religious perspective, schools risk alienating students who do not share those beliefs, fostering an environment of exclusion and discrimination. The coalition encourages parents and students to report any incidents where the video has been shown or used in schools. Walters separately announced on Thursday that he purchased more than 500 Bibles for Advanced Placement (AP) Government classrooms. In October, the coalition filed a lawsuit on behalf of 32 Oklahomans urging the Oklahoma Supreme Court to block Walters’ mandate that all public schools incorporate the bible into their curricula. This coalition stands firm in defending the rights of every student to receive a secular education free from religious influence. A copy of the letter can be found here: https://ffrf.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/State-Superintendent-Ryan-Walters-OK-Religious-Video-Mandate.pdf -
MaineNov 2024
Religious Liberty
St. Dominic Academy v. MakinSt. Dominic Academy v. Makin
The ACLU, ACLU of Maine, and Americans United for Separation of Church and State filed an amicus brief with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the First Circuit arguing that religious schools in Maine participating in the state’s school tuition program must comply with all eligibility requirements of the program – including a prohibition on discrimination on the basis of religion, sexual orientation, and gender identity, among other protected characteristics. -
Press ReleaseNov 2024
Religious Liberty
Court Blocks Louisiana Law Requiring Public Schools to Display Ten Commandments in Every ClassroomCourt Blocks Louisiana Law Requiring Public Schools to Display Ten Commandments in Every Classroom
BATON ROUGE, LA – In a victory for religious freedom, a federal district court issued a preliminary injunction today in Rev. Roake v. Brumley, prohibiting implementation of a Louisiana law that requires all public schools to permanently display a government-approved, Protestant version of the Ten Commandments in every classroom. In the ruling, Judge John W. DeGravelles determined that Louisiana’s H.B. 71, enacted last June, violates the First Amendment and longstanding Supreme Court precedent. More than 40 years ago, in Stone v. Graham, the Supreme Court overturned a similar state statute, holding that the First Amendment bars public schools from posting such displays. The defendants conceded during oral argument that Stone remains good law and is binding on lower courts. In his 177-page opinion, the judge explained: [T]hese displays must be posted in every “classroom in each school,” all year round, regardless of subject matter, and regardless of the age of the student. Thus, the question is not whether the Biblical laws can ever be put on a poster; the issue is whether, as a matter of law, there is any constitutional way to display the Ten Commandments in accordance with the minimum requirements of the Act. In short, the Court finds that there is not. First, Stone remains good law and is directly on point, and this Court is bound to follow it. Second, even putting Stone aside . . . , Plaintiffs have adequately alleged that H.B. 71 fails to comply with the Establishment Clause analysis laid out in Kennedy and Fifth Circuit precedent. Judge DeGravelles also recognized that H.B. 71 would lead to unconstitutional religious coercion of the children-plaintiffs in the case by imposing religious doctrine on them for nearly every hour of the school day, throughout their entire public-school education. And, pointing to the testimony of plaintiffs’ expert, Dr. Steven K. Green, the court found that there is no historical support for permanently displaying the Ten Commandments in public-school classrooms and that doing so would be at odds with our nation’s Founders’ understanding of the separation of church and state. The court’s opinion concludes: Each of the Plaintiffs’ minor children will be forced “in every practical sense,” through Louisiana’s required attendance policy, to be a “captive audience” and to participate in a religious exercise: reading and considering a specific version of the Ten Commandments, one posted in every single classroom, for the entire school year, regardless of the age of the student or subject matter of the course. And, despite the differences among the Plaintiffs’ religious beliefs (be they Unitarian Universalist, Reform Jewish, Presbyterian, or atheist/agnostic), the common threads are (1) that the required posting of the Decalogue conflicts with specific parts of their faith, and (2) that one of those articles of faith, shared by nearly all Plaintiff parents, is raising their children in accordance with their own beliefs and values. Considering the totality of the circumstances, the Court finds that the Act and its requirements are coercive and inconsistent with the history of First Amendment and public education. The court further ruled that H.B. 71 also violates the plaintiffs’ rights under the Free Exercise Clause. After finding that the law violates the plaintiffs’ constitutional rights, the court prohibited the defendants from “(1) enforcing H.B. 71; (2) adopting rules or regulations for the enforcement of H.B. 71; and (3) requiring that the Ten Commandments be posted in every public-school classroom in Louisiana in accordance with H.B. 71.” The Court additionally directed the state defendants to provide notice of its order and H.B. 71’s unconstitutionality to all Louisiana public elementary, secondary, and charter schools, and all public post-secondary education institutions. Because the court denied the defendants’ request to pause (or “stay”) the preliminary injunction while they seek relief from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit, it immediately takes effect. “H.B. 71 is a direct infringement of our religious-freedom rights, and we’re pleased and relieved that the court ruled in our favor,” said Rev. Darcy Roake, who is a plaintiff in the case along with her husband, Adrian Van Young. “As an interfaith family, we expect our children to receive their secular education in public school and their religious education at home and within our faith communities, not from government officials.” “This ruling should serve as a reality check for Louisiana lawmakers who want to use public schools to convert children to their preferred brand of Christianity,” said Heather L. Weaver, Senior Staff Attorney for the ACLU’s Program on Freedom of Religion and Belief. “Public schools are not Sunday schools, and today’s decision ensures that our clients’ classrooms will remain spaces where all students, regardless of their faith, feel welcomed.” “We are pleased that the First Amendment rights of students and families are protected by this vital court decision,” said Patrick Elliott, Legal Director of the Freedom From Religion Foundation. “This ruling will ensure that Louisiana families – not politicians or public school officials – get to decide if, when and how their children engage with religion,” said Rachel Laser, president and CEO of Americans United for Separation of Church and State. “It should send a strong message to Christian Nationalists across the country that they cannot impose their beliefs on our nation’s public school children. Not on our watch.” “Religious freedom—the right to choose one’s faith without pressure—is essential to American democracy,” said Alanah Odoms, Executive Director of the ACLU of Louisiana. “Today’s ruling ensures that the schools our plaintiff’s children attend will stay focused on learning, without promoting a state-preferred version of Christianity.” Jon Youngwood, Co-Chair of Simpson Thacher’s Litigation Department, added, “We are heartened by the District Court’s well-reasoned and detailed opinion, which rests upon the wisdom of the First Amendment to the Constitution and the protections it affords regarding the separation of church and state and the free exercise of religion.” Represented by the ACLU, ACLU of Louisiana, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, and the Freedom From Religion Foundation, with Simpson Thacher & Bartlett LLP serving as pro bono counsel, the plaintiffs in Roake v. Brumley are a multifaith group of nine Louisiana families with children in public schools. Today’s opinion, issued by the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Louisiana, is available online here: https://assets.aclu.org/live/uploads/2024/11/LA-10c-Opinion.pdf